by
THE BORSHT COMRADES
a spoof on
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
by Queen
TOURIST BOARD
TOURIST BOARD
No, it’s just fantasy
Caught in Lothlorien
No escape from Galadriel
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
I’m just a poor elf, I need some sympathy
Because I’m - easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
On my way to Mirkwood
Nothing really matters to me, to me
Valar
I’ll kill my wife
Shoot an arrow through her head
Then I’d laugh, “Oh joy, she’s dead”
Valar
Life would just begin
But now I have to throw it all away
Valar, oooooh
Didn’t mean to make you mad
If she’s not back again this time tomorrow
She is dead, she is dead
And I’ll be on my way to Mirkwood
Too late, her time has come
She sends shivers down my spine; my head’s aching all the time
Good-bye, Galadhrim
I have to go, Gotta leave you all behind and face the shrew
Valar, oooooh (on my way to Mirkwood)
I don’t wanna hide
Sometimes I wish I’d never been Celeborn
I see a little silhouette of a wife
“Celeborn, Celeborn what the hell are you drinking?”
Thunderbolt of lightning, very very frightening me
Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Gil-Galad, Feanor
I hate you more!
I’m just a poor elf, nobody loves me
‘He’s just a poor elf, She kicked him off the tree’
Spare me this life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go- will you let me go, Oh lady
“No! I will not let you go”
Let me go, Oh Lady,
“I will not let your go”
Let me go! Oh Lady,
“Will not let you go”
Let me go!
Never ever, ever let me go….
Ai! Mighty Eru, Mighty Eru, Mighty Eru let me go!
Damned Morgoth had a Balrog as a wife for me!
So you think you can stop me by hiding my wine?
Send me straight into Mordor along with the Nine?!
Old Lady! Can’t do this to me Lady!
Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!
Nothing really matters, every Elf can see
Nothing really matters- nothing really matters, to me…
ONLINE-SHOP!
TAGBOARD/CHAT
OUR BUSINESS-POLICY
(Or Hobbit. Human. Whatever.)
ADVICE AND GUIDANCE
"The Young Elf's Handbook" - A guide to courting and wooing.
FUNNY BONES
Animated music videos ("Lord of the Dance", "The Singing Legolas") and more
ELF ON A SHELF UNIVERSE
Staff / Erestor's biography and photo album / Last Homely Gallery / Ballad of Fin, the Balrog Slayer and more
BEAUTY, HEALTH-CARE, HOBBY AND RECREATION
Photomanipulations, Elf-Ads etc.
GALLERIES
Elrond, Haldir, Legolas, Elves, Orlando Bloom Gallery, Midsomer Murders, Graham Norton, TLR. Pirates of the Caribbean, Hugo Weaving
ARTICLES
Archive for all Lord of the Rings-related articles I wrote.
GAMES
THINGS YOU SENT US
LINKS
WEBRINGS
GUESTBOOK
MAIL US
RAT PACK
Official Magic Rat fanlisting