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| ORCS IN YOUR BACKYARD? TROLLS IN YOUR WINE CAVE? BALROGS IN THE KITCHEN? DO NOT DISPAIR - WE CAN HELP! |
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| GLO-GO in Rivendell is the leading provider of pest- and Balrog control-services throughout Middle Earth. Founded in the first age, the company can proudly show hundreds of satisfied customers. GLO-GO is leader in the Balrog extermination business because we know all about them. Habits, biology, hiding grounds. Our expertise enables us to develop the most effective treatment programs, use the most cutting-edge technology (bow/arrow/broad sword/pointed helmets) to combat pest problems, have the best training and offer the best guarantees in the industry. We are committed to customer satisfaction and ensure that all employees undergo security screening - including background checks and regular screening for abuse of Gandalf's special weed. |
| We carry baits, balrogticides, orkicides, urukticides, traps and many other helpful pest control items. Our 6000+ years of professional experience is always free and available to our customers. We want to insure that you have the correct product and application instructions for the job. Please ask for our free information scroll or call our toll free number (0800-G-L-O-R-F-I-N-D-E-L). We are very conservative in our approach for application of pest control tools, and only use the best Elven steel. Our weapon park is the most effective, polished daily by Lord Glorfindel himself. So don't delay - send a messenger today! |
| Some statements by satisfied customers: * * * * * "Look, I say how it is: I don't like the Noldor crowd. If you ask me, Rivendell is nothing but one big Elven theme-park. But when it comes to spiders, Glo-Go are just the greatest! On time, fast, clean, effective. They cleared my wine cave of spiders within half a day. They also cleared my wine cave of my best wine, but it was well worth it." His Royal Highness, Thranduil the Exceptional and Impressive, Most Splendid and Feared Ruler of Mirkwood, King by the Valar's Grace, Ruler of 2000 Years, Shining Star of Greenwood The Green, Fairest of all Elven Lords, Light of the Dark Ages, Son of Oropher the magnificent, etc. etc. etc., * * * * * "We didn't even know that we had tomicus piniperdii in the woodwork of our talan until the floor crashed and by brother landed in the brambleberry bushes underneath. My, what a mess. It took us hours to get him out of there. We called Glo-Go, and they rushed by immediately, axed off our tree and burned everything. We now live in a tent, but you got my word: not a single tomicus piniperda is alive anymore. Amazing work!" Orophin of Lothlorien * * * * * "Yes, yes, us always calls Glo-Gotses to gets us rid of nasty thieving hobbitses, yes, yes, preciousss! But Glo-Gotses never come - bad Glofinkle, bad! BAD! Yes, preciousss!" anonymous |
| KISS-AN-ELF (Or Hobbit. Human. Whatever.) ADVICE AND GUIDANCE "The Young Elf's Handbook" - A guide to courting and wooing. FUNNY BONES Animated music videos ("Lord of the Dance", "The Singing Legolas") and more ELF ON A SHELF UNIVERSE Staff / Erestor's biography and photo album / Last Homely Gallery / Ballad of Fin, the Balrog Slayer and more BEAUTY, HEALTH-CARE, HOBBY AND RECREATION Photomanipulations, Elf-Ads etc. GALLERIES Elrond, Haldir, Legolas, Elves, Orlando Bloom Gallery, Midsomer Murders, Graham Norton, TLR. Pirates of the Caribbean, Hugo Weaving ARTICLES Archive for all Lord of the Rings-related articles I wrote. GAMES THINGS YOU SENT US LINKS WEBRINGS GUESTBOOK MAIL US RAT PACK Official Magic Rat fanlisting |
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