THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH
Genre: LOTR, slash, PG-13
Pairings: two - but tell would be to spoil
Warning: none really - but bear keep an
open mind
Summary: sometimes you have to let your true love go to keep it
Author's note: This is set in the 1920ies1930’s,
so I would not call it a "modern day" fic... there will be Elves, so
do not despair.
* * *
There was a saying that there was a sucker born every minute.[JMW1] Rosie could not[JMW2] comment on the frequency, but there sure were a lot dupes out there. She knew them all. Almost fifty years she had spent in the little yellow cash box[JMW3] with the bright red roof. Day after day, year after year, whether in bright sunshine or hail.
She saw them when they bought their tickets; she watched them during the come-in[JMW4]. Stressed parents with their over-excited children. Young girls, giggling and lurking in front of Madame Zobeida's booth, pretending not to believe in clairvoyants but finally entering anyway, asking silly questions about the young men they loved and prepared to pay for a well-worded lie.
They were not the only ones. With shining eyes they came here, fascinated by the miracle of the circus, and sometimes Rosie wished that she could share their enthusiasm. She had been like them once, enchanted by the lights and the glitter and Miss Alicia, the Queen of the Horses. But she had soon learned that Frank, the clown, hid the reddened nose and cheeks of a drunkard under his make-up, and that Miss Alicia, who looked so elegant sitting on her beautiful white horse, was a bitter, bickering wife to a tired, disillusioned husband.
The golden days of the circus were over,
and though none of them admitted it, they knew it well. With people out of
work, the paying audience had shrunk, and already there had beenwere
rumours that Mr Dink, the proud owner and director of "Dink &
Sons", might be forced to send some of the less attractive attractions
away. They had already sold Sid the lion to a travelling zoo. Dink had claimed
that the animal had beenwas old and would have dieddie
soon, anyway. Rosie knew better.
The 3 o'clock performance had started 30 minutes ago. Rosie braced upleaned
on her elbows and peeked out of her booth. Any minute now, and he would come,
the secret highlight of Rosie's day.
And really,[JMW5] there he was. At first she had thought him to be [JMW6]a farmer, because of his worn-out dungarees and the straw hat, but
now she was not so sure anymore. Maybe he was the son of a good family, who now
lived
in the rough[JMW7]roughing
it? So many had lost everything in the big crash[JMW8].
There were many aspects speaking for her
theory[JMW9]. The way he moved, the way he talked. A real gentleman and god knew
the farmers around here were anything but. Every [JMW10]day he would come to see the fourth number act of
the show and its first highlight.
As usual, he stood and stared at the
tent entrance[JMW11] for a while, as if undecided[JMW12] whether to buy a ticket or not. But as on every other day,
he finally approached Rosie's booth, put down two coins in
front of her and said: "One ticket, please. Last Back[JMW13] row."
* * *
"Flo, The World Famous Talking
Horse" was announced on the dirty poster just outside of Rosie's booth.
Under the bright letters, a smiling horse could be seen, wearing a straw hat
with a large flower. Flo was very popular, especially with the children. A
good-natured mare, she could answer questions by neighing once for
"yes", twice for "maybe" and shaking her head
enthusiastically for "no." She could also perform a number of clever
tricks and loved the attention of the audience.
The show was also very popular with the
girls. Flo's owner, a tall, earnest looking man of about forty, charmed them
with unexpected, boyish smiles, and more than one woman took extra care on with her
dress outfit before
coming to the circus, just in case.[JMW14]
However, Mr. Ash was short-spoken and
obviously not interested in love affairs. He was polite with his female
admirers who came to see him after the show, but he kept them at arm's length
and soon disappeared in into the stables to
look after Flo.
Rosie, who knew life and its pitfalls, assumed that Mr. Ash had lost his wife and still mourned for her. She had tried to approach him about this once, and from the reply he had given her[JMW15] she concluded that her assumption had been correct and that he did not wish to discuss the matter.
He was had been with the
circus for five years now, and had turned down all offers for of company down.
Rosie liked the quiet man who always had a friendly word for her, and really,
what woman would not[JMW16] have liked a man who showed such great devotion to his wife, even
after her death?
* * *
"There you go," Rosie said, and handedhanding
the ticket over to her daily visitor. 'A dandy', she thought. 'That's what he
looks like. A dandy in dungarees.'
"Thank you," he replied, and lookedlooking
down at the ticket. "Last Back row?"
"Last Back row,
as usual," Rosie nodded. It was a ritual. Same question, same answer, day
in, day out. Of course she wondered why the man always made sure the ticket was
for the last
back row, but at least the little
conversation gave her a few extra moments to admire the beautiful face. Rosie
would have
never have called a man
"beautiful" to his face. Men didn't like that kind of compliment.
But "handsome" did not quite meet
it. His features were delicate, the nose a little too big and his smile
lopsided, but still, to Rosie, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.
He even beat Rudolph Valentino hands down, and coming from Rosie, this was
quite a compliment. Maybe it was the air of innocence that surrounded him. Even
the worst of days came tobecame a good day
looking at the shy young man, and that was why Rosie awaited his visit so
eagerly.
It goes without saying that[JMW17]Of
course, Rosie had considered wondered more than
once why the young man bought a his ticket, day
after day. After a lot of thinking she had come to the conclusion that Flo must
once have been
in possession ofbelonged to his family, and that he
came to see his old childhood friend. It was a tragic fantasy, and a
heart-warming one, and very likely as far away from the truth as it could be,
but Rosie liked it quite fineall the same[JMW18]. She looked after himwatched him go and
waited until he had disappeared into the tent before she closed her booth.
* * *
"You've been a good girl," Mr.
Ash said, and patted Flo's back. Flo neighed in agreement and looked at him
expectantly, as if to say: "Of course I've beenI have.
Now start the grooming already!"
Mr. Ash smiled, then reached for the brush
and began to groom his hold friend. It had been a good show.
Flo had been a little difficult in the beginning, but she was a good sport and
never ruined a show. She loved the children, and she would never have never
disappointed them.
He hummed a song he remembered from his
childhood during
his workas he worked, and Flo seemed to like
it, as;[JMW19] he could tell from the way she twitched her ears.
"I have not heard this that tune
for a very long time."
Mr. Ash halted thestopped
grooming for a moment, but did not turn around. He knew whose voice it was. He
just did not want to look at him.
His fingers closed harder around the brushgripped the
brush tighter, the knuckles standing out widewhite[JMW20], and he continued his work.
His visitor sighed.
"Will you not at least look at me? I find it hard to talk to your back."
Mr. Ash clenched his jaw, then he looked over his shoulder.
"There is[JMW21] nothing we need to talk about. I haven't inviteddidn’t invite
you to
come here, and I don't need company. Get outta here."
His visitor winced.
"It hurts my ears to hear such words! I find your preferences to live here obscure, to say the least, but could you at least have the decency to use proper words[JMW22] when talking to me?"
Mr. Ash frowned.
"I cannot say that you look like nobility either with those ridiculous clothes and the silly straw hat, Erestor[JMW23]. It is bad enough they make the horse wear one."
"Agreed," Erestor replied.
"And as you have usedare using decent
language, I shall humour you as well." He took off the hat and freed his
long black hair. Then he walked to Flo and patted her.
"Asfaloth, old friend! Has he brought put you
in an awkward[JMW24] position again?"
The horse looked at Mr. Ash, then at Erestor. Then she neighed once.
Erestor arched his eyebrows.
"Glorfindel sends his regards. He would be most obliged if he could have his horse back. The one you left behind is an unruly beast."
"They should get along fine then," Mr. Ash grumbled.
Erestor laughed.
"He has improved a lot since you have last
seen saw him.
Marriage does him good, you[JMW25] would be surprised."
Mr. Ash looked a little doubtful. Then he shrugged.
"And why are you here now?"
"I could tell you that I am impressed by the abilities of Flo The Amazing Wonderhorse, but the truth is that I am here because I wish you to return home with me."
Mr. Ash stared at Erestor. Then he laughed mirthlessly.
"Home? What home? I do not have a home anymore, Erestor. That is why I am here."
Erestor's face flushed with anger.
"Are you trying to tell me that you
prefer the company of clowns and dancing poodles to the onethat
of your family and your friends?"
Mr. Ash shook his head.
"I do have friends here as well, and my sons do not need me anymore."
Erestor shook his head.
"They need their father."
He reached out and touched Mr. Ash's cheek.
"I know how very much you miss your
wife and that you loved her. But you knew it would come to this eventually when
you married her, and you also know that her last wish was to see you[JMW26]
finding find happiness
again."
Mr. Ash looked up. He would never have admitted it to Erestor, but it was good to feel his cool touch. It had been a very long time since anybody had showed him true affection.
"Let me be, Erestor," he finally
begged. "Maybe clowns and dancing poodles are not the best of company, but
at least nobody is giving me looks oflooks at me
with pity here or lectures me on my duties towards my
family."
"You are lonely," Erestor simply[JMW27] stated.
"I am," Mr. Ash replied. "But it is easier to be lonely here than with your people."
Erestor gently stroked his cheek.
"You would not needneed not
be lonely if you returned," he said. He leant in and kissed Mr. Ash, as if
to repeat the offer he had made. The other hesitated for a moment, but then he
opened up to the kiss, which was sweet and tender and honest. He dropped the
brush and took Erestor in his arms, returning the kiss with increasing passion.
When he finally gave Erestor free[JMW28], he took a deep breath.
"You love me," he said, gazing down at Erestor in wonder.
"Of course I do," Erestor replied. "Why else would I have watched this idiotic performance day after day? Only a lunatic or one in love would do so."
Mr. Ash pressed a soft kiss on Erestor's forehead.
"I need time, Erestor. I care a lot for you, but still, I wish to stay here for a little while longer. I am not ready to return yet."
Erestor sighed.
"I already feared this that would
be your answer." He straightened up. "Very well, then I shall stay
here as well. But not as a visitor."
Mr. Ash laughed.
"Does this mean you will join the circus and train dancing poodles?"
Erestor grinned.
"Oh no! I have a very special number act in
mind. 'Erestor and Orophin[JMW29], the best archers on earth?' How do you like the ring of it?"
Mr. Ash raked his short, silverblond hair
with his fingers. He thought this was the most terrible thing[JMW30] he had ever heard, but looking into Erestor's eyes, so full of love
and trust, he could not help but laughing.
"I think it sounds wonderful, Erestor."
* * *
The End
[JMW1] This sounds very odd. Maybe better something like, „There’s a sucker born every minute, so it’s said /so they say /so the saying goes...“. (Of those options, I’d probably pick „so they say“ as it fits best with the general narrative voice.
[JMW2] Maybe „couldn’t“?
[JMW3] Better „cash booth“ – „cash box“ too strongly implies an actually locked box for the money.
[JMW4] This just isn’t used. Choose between „entrée“ or „warm-up“.
[JMW5] Either delete this and have nothing here, or use „indeed“. „Really“ isn’t used like this.
[JMW6] unnecessary
[JMW7] just not used. „Living rough“ means being homeless and living on the streets as a downandout. But „roughing it“ is a bit more open ended and leaves more possibilities than that, therefore seems more appropriate for her speculation here.
[JMW8] OK, so you said at the beginning that this is set in the 1920s. However, Rosie’s voice from the outset is very clearly American, and the „big crash“ didn’t happen until the 1930s.
[JMW9] This sentence doesn’t work at all – just doesn’t make sense as English. Difficult to find a good alternative, although it’s clear what you want to say. Maybe „Many factors spoke for her theory.“ or „There was much evidence to support her theory.“
[JMW10] Insert space – „every day“ is two words, „everyday“ means something else.
[JMW11] The main circus tent is always called the „big top“ so then this should be „at the entrance to the big top“
[JMW12] Nothing wrong with this, but I’d probably go for „as if deciding whether...“ by preference just because it’s more active or something like that , I guess.
[JMW13] I’m assuming this is what you meant.
[JMW14] OK, so far everything has been very solidly in Rosie’s POV. Here, with this bit, it seems to be departing from that and moving towards omniscient narrator. Perhaps this could be expressed a little differently, to make it seem more clearly Rosie’s speculation, or based on her observations of these women?
[JMW15] If you like you could simplify this and put „from his reply“ or „from his response she concluded...“ but it’s all correct so it’s up to you.
[JMW16] Maybe rather „wouldn’t“ to be in keeping with the tone.
[JMW17] This phrase in particular takes it away from Rosie’s point of view. Another alternative would be „Naturally“.
[JMW18] This is a suggested alternative – because the „quite fine“ doesn’t work at all here. But there are obviously so many other things to choose from too.
[JMW19] semi-colon, delete „as“
[JMW20] I assume this is what you meant?
[JMW21] Maybe „there’s“ – to help make the point here?
[JMW22] Better by far, I think, to change this to „speak properly“
[JMW23] Why reveal so early when you could sustain the suspense much longer?
[JMW24] I’d probably go for „embarrassing“ here – I think it would work better. „awkward“ somehow doesn’t quite seem right.
[JMW25] Full stop, new sentence instead of comma here.
[JMW26] „to see you“ doesn’t really make sense here if the wife is dead or gone away or something – maybe rather „her last wish was for you to find happiness again“
[JMW27] I feel the simplicity is sufficiently self-evident in the statement, without needing to be remarked upon.
[JMW28] This is wrong. Maybe „released Erestor“ or „let Erestor go“. (Would be „set Erestor free“ but that really doesn’t work here)
[JMW29] I think you could make this the whole reveal – about Erestor as well as Orophin.
[JMW30] I think you need to change „thing“ to something else to clarify it – is it the „idea“ Orophin doesn’t like? The „title“? You know?